"A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease." ~ ~ ~ John Muir

Sunday, February 21, 2010

God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest. ~ J.G. Holland

I realize at this ripe old age of 64 that I'm pretty much stuck with who I am. To paraphrase Ram Dass, I've changed but not much. I'm stuck with my low self-esteem, my selfishness, my fears, my mouth, my addictions. I'm also stuck with my compassionate heart, my intellect, my open spirit. It's all such a long, long journey this thing called being human.

For me, right now, I'm running a marathon. I just keep pickin' em up and puttin' em down. Will I do the whole thing? At this point in time I must say I doubt it. It doesn't seem worth it. I have nothing that they don't already have. Like all of us, they cling to their culture and their past with a steel grip. The corruption here extends from the top of the King's crown to the tip of the peasants' toes. Perhaps corruption is too harsh a word. It's just the way of doing business.

I'm enjoying part of what I do right now. I'm leading an English club in an outlying village. This is totally outside my "job assignment", which totally doesn't fit me. I'm also putting together a project design workshop, which is fun.

In the final analysis, the biggest challenge is my physical health - the headaches and tinnitus. I'm stuck with that too. I want to be more, but I confess: I'm no Mother Teresa.